I sit here on the eve of my 75th birthday. Outside my windows, the day is cold, grey and damp. Fitting weather, now that transit Saturn sits close to my 27° Sagittarius natal Sun, which itself happens to be conjunct the Galactic Center. Yes, on this particular eve of my birthday, transit Sun, dragging Saturn, starts to cross over that 27th degree which it occupied when I was born.

This particular birthday feels very Saturn inside me, too. Stuck, stopped, clogged, even stomped on, squashed! — feelings which, in turn, are projected onto the kitchen sink which still needs to be unclogged, but plumber can’t come until Wednesday, the day after my birthday.

I did manage to get a new bathroom shower head (the old one cracked, came off entirely), and even managed to fasten it up there myself, after wishing that others were home to do it. I dragged my aging body out of my comfort chair at 8 p.m. last night, drove to nearby Bed Bath and Beyond, picked out a new one, drove home, wrenched off the god-awful plastic covering, read the instructions, and did it. Just did it. Hooked it up in all three places. That felt good. But in an abstract way. More like that extended action might redeem my otherwise worthless day; I did it because I knew it should feel good. Should feel good to succeed in consciously tackling a practical job, paying attention to printed instructions, with no help.

Meanwhile, a part of me tells myself that, in honor of my 75th birthday I should do an internet fast. That I should just get off the goddamned screens for at least three days. But I “can’t,” I think, or I realize, or I acknowledge, sadly, for I am seriously addicted to this fucked flow of “news” about all the yucky stuff coming to the surface “out there,” the pedogate stuff especially, and the huge military expenditures, and all the false flags, especially the fake, false flag “disclosure” in the NYT two days ago that makes me want to puke (see this and this). Oh yes, and then there’s yesterday in Atlanta. Wha?? The largest airport in the world goes dark for 11 hours, electricity back on 12:12 AM? That repetitive number sequence feels weird. Feels intentional. Oh, and aha, this morning an Amtrak train derails near Seattle, crashes onto I5. Another distraction? From what, again. From pedogate. That’s what. That’s the pathology that has to surface big time, huge time. That’s the horrific sickness that underlies everything else. That and associated trafficking, sacrificial murder, cannibalism, snuff films, Satanism, torture to drum up fear, or “loosh,” for those who think drinking young adrenalized blood increases their life force.

Have I gone off the rails like that train? Have the lights gone out in me like in Atlanta? Or do I just, in my own person, express the astoundingly strange, surreal, shocking, constantly changing stormy weather that envelops humanity during this extraordinary time when Saturn conjuncts the massive, powerful, sucking Galactic Core, slowing everything down to a crawl, stopping forward movement, insisting on karma coming due; that, plus Mercury, still crawling retrograde, until December 22, the day after Winter Solstice, when it turns to go direct and finally, after three long weeks, we can begin to think straight.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention this early morning’s 26° Sagittarius New Moon, at 1:31 AM at 26°31  Sagittarius, exactly conjunct my natal Sun and the Galactic Center, and only two degrees from transit Saturn, at 29°46 barely hanging on to the final Sagittarian degree, poised to move into Capricorn for the next two and a half years, tomorrow! On my birthday!

So yeah, look at that grand stellium in Sagittarius: Mercury, Venus, Sun, Moon, Saturn. You’d think it would be a thrilling time, idealism pouring forth from every pore, widening perspectives galore, a beautiful fiery, teaching moment. But it’s not. Not at all. Why? Because stern, serious Saturn is sitting there, gumming up the works, squashing the huge fire, or trying to, and the result is frustration.

Or, you could say, that despite Saturn, and maybe even because of Saturn, perspectives are seriously, sternly, karmically widening; and yes, that’s for sure, more and more people waking up to how we have been mind-controlled to have only one perspective, the one the MSM, in concert with the PTB, used to dictate to us on the tel-lie-vision”news.” But that’s just not happening anymore, that single point of view, that sureness that the official narrative for events is right, and anyone saying otherwise is wrong, or stupid, or “a conspiracy theorist.” Instead, we have a million, billion points of view, each of us standing in our own point of view upon the world, looking through squinty, siloed eyes, not even at the real world, but at our screens, deciding which websites to pay attention to, which ones are real, which false, fake, or not!

Or, we can’t decide! Or, there’s no way to decide. All we can do is go with our own personal flow, informed, hopefully, by gut instinct, which of course changes with the food we put into our stomachs, the ideas we get obsessed by, the places we decide to go, people to see, “things to do.”

Doing, doing, doing, that’s all we do. We do; we’re terrified to stop, and simply be. Terrified to sit there, silent, and allow the spacious presence to penetrate the mind games we play with ourselves. Me, too. That’s the real #metoo. This insistence on doing, even if our only doing is consulting all those webites, the ones we’re convinced, or we hope, are “telling the truth.” What truth? Whose truth? For what agenda? Who wins and loses? you know the drill. There is no overarching TRUTH that we can go by, even tho, heaven knows, we wish there were! We long for those good old days when people told us what to believe and we believed them. Stayed obedient. Played by the rules. What rules? There are no rules. They went out with the rise of the internet and the decision by the US military industrial complex to fight “preemptive” wars, to break treaties, and to tell constant lies. That was a long time ago. In fact has there ever been a time when the U.S. Empire didn’t “project power” by any means necessary for “national security”? What a joke. What a sick joke.

So you see how I’m feeling, how I’m doing on the eve of my 75th birthday. I’d like it to be all sweetness and light; to love where I am in my life now. And actually, I do! But not today, not during this twilight period when my birthday, damn it! comes at the dark of the year and gets completely squashed, sat on, by heavy, karmic Saturn, for the first time in 29-30 years. Glad I won’t live another 30 years to see it again! . . . Hmmmm, where and how was I when Saturn’s 30 year cycle reached that same 27° Sagittarius degree, two cycles ago, or 60 years ago? That was in December 1958. I was a sophomore in high school. I draw a complete blank! Have no idea, except no doubt I was worried about nuclear war, because that’s what I always worried about back then. Worry was my middle name.

And what happened when Saturn, after another round, reached that same point again, in December 1987, and that time, it happened to do so when conjunct Uranus! Wow! That was the year when I realized my own value as an astrologer, and knew that therefore astrology was a major part of my path. I realized this when I went to San Francisco, and new clients there loved my work. San Francisco was the big time, for me, who had been incubating in tiny Jackson Wyoming.

Yes, that was a sudden (Uranian) breakthrough, which set the course of my next round of Saturn — and it felt fabulous.

Now, today, one more round, and Saturn is again at that same point, but without Uranus, so rather than breakthrough, it feels like stoppage, and coupled with the original “worry” that I had as a kid. Especially now,  when the damn false flag “alien threat” is being rolled out, you betcha, by this so-called “disclosure” in the New York Times. See Steven Greer on the subject; however, I don’t really trust him either! But I do think he’s right on this matter, and has been ever since he posted this piece, in 1999. Why? Because my Sagittarian intuition is working overtime on this 75th birthday eve.

When Disclosure Serves Secrecy

Oh! The mailman just came, and delivered two birthday cards from two of my many wonderful sisters. Both hilarious. All of a sudden, my mood switches. Note, in the New Moon chart above, all those harmonious (120°) green lines from the stellium in Sagittarius, leading up to Uranus, at 24° Aries. Uranus: sudden, unpredictable changes! Lightning in a dark sky! Yes! Thank you Paula and Kathy. Despite the sodden stuckness, how little it takes to shift my entire mood. Just one Uranian moment, and Saturn goes off the rails. YES!

Tomorrow, son Colin and I will spend my birthday together in Indianapolis, going out to lunch and then to the Native American Museum. Since I’m very much looking forward to our (Uranian) adventure, I must have known all along that this Saturn soddenness will pass.