“I can feel myself changing . . .”

"Ann Renee Kreilkamp," at 18 months and "full of it." I wouldn't get conditioned until my German father came home from the war, and shut me down. He didn't mean to. He was just doing what German fathers did to their kids back then. (Read Alice Miller.) When I was 26 years old, I almost died, and instead, I woke up. And I've not fallen asleep since, not really. I've had times when I was distracted, but not for long. The call to follow my own unique and unusual path has simply been too insistent, too strong. And guess what? I discovered a long time ago that "when I follow my nature, nature takes care of me."

. . . and I hope you’re coming with me.”

I said this to Jeff, my dear husband who’s been “dead” now nearly ten years. I was referring to a felt change in my own direction, and I didn’t want to leave him behind! But I would, if I had to. As I warned him before we married, “If I’m ever bored, I’m outta here.”

As an astrologer, I had deliberately chosen a date for our marriage that would guarantee a huge amount of stress, and therefore novelty. We wouldn’t ever be able to simply “settle in.”

Even so, a few years later, Jeff’s essentially fixed and stubborn nature had rendered our life together, for me, too routine; I was feeling the bogey-man of boredom starting to nibble around the edges. So, when I told him I was feeling myself changing, it put him on high alert. He didn’t say anything. But I knew that something started to roll over inside him.

We were on vacation at the time. When we got back home to Jackson, Wyoming, the first thing he did was sign up at the YMCA and start to swim one mile three times a week. That shift changed him, too. He energized himself enough so that we were able to keep moving through time and space together.

So, likewise, as I begin this new week, “I feel myself changing . . .” Rather than continue to do extensive comments on various posts of others, I’m going to instead feature mostly my own original work — and those of others whom I have invited to be guest writers. (So far, no luck!) I will also continue to repost stories that are local, or quirky, or permacultural, or otherwise not in the usual currents of the progressive and/or “Ascension”-related alternative press.

The reason for this change is that, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I like to keep the number of posts somewhere around five a day. But when I take two, or three days off, especially now, when “novelty” has begun to increase at a startling rate, that number feels more and more constricted and arbitrary.

Along with this realization, I also see that for the past month or so, a great many, as much as 80%, of the daily news stories I think important, other likewise what I would call “spherical-minded” bloggers that I read do, too! Our antennae reach in the same directions, quiver to the same kinds of developments, no matter how broadly divergent that range may seem to others without such antennae.

Thus, much of my work here (except for my commentary) is beginning to feel redundant. I would rather focus on what I personally can contribute to the conversation instead of repeating what others that I respect the most, agree on as of value.

Here are the five sites that, over the past month or so, I have found myself referring to, sometimes many times a day. I list them in no particular order. I am especially interested in 3D events and processes as they show up on these five sites. I also read, or at least skim some of the channelled material, but less and less. Especially do I routinely skip any kind of channelled material that focuses on reassurance, holding the reader’s hand, making him or her “feel better,” etc. That, frankly bores me. I am not interested in ministering to those who see themselves as powerless or victimized. I assume we are all adults, with responsibility for our own lives and perceptions.






Sites like beforeitsnews.com and rense.com still draw me in to some extent, but there’s a lot of fear porn in both of them, and my sensitivity to that is growing daily. I also check into sites like abovetopsecret.com and godlike productions.com (also contaminated with fear porn) for rumors that float around the web. More mainstream sources, like businessinsider.com and veterans today.com, plus rt.com and the guardian.com, and even huffpost.com, when it isn’t mesmerized by the election cycle — are also of interest. And whatreallyhappened.com. And rumormillnews.com. And democracynow.com and opednews.com. And then there’s the new one, and in some ways, most startling: johnkettler.com! However, the five sites I list in bold above also appear to check at least some of these others, and tend to pick from them the same sorts of stories that I do!

What I’m going to do is put a blogroll up on the right hand side of first these five sites, and as time goes on, a few others.

I will also put up on the right hand side a list of five to seven URLs of what I think are the most important stories of the day. I will start that tomorrow.

Today, I will also write a post that lists what I think are the most important developments from when I left town early Friday morning.

So that’s the shift. How I can feel myself changing during the fourth month of the 70th year of my long and peripatetic life.

This entry was posted in 2012, astrology, channeled material, local action, visions of the future, waking up, zone zero zero. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to “I can feel myself changing . . .”

  1. dreamponies says:

    Ann, I think this is a great shift as what is certainly helpful is the connection to a real human having real experiences and sharing real insights. I have noticed even my horses being in a shift mode – settling into new dynamics with quicker calming times, letting go of some of the more assertive herd dynamics and accepting the grace of their herd community with less drama. Very interesting…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *