Family Chronicles: A funny thing happened on the way home . . .

Note: I created a page for this long series of posts covering the past twelve days, ran it chronologically, and called it Family Chronicles, February 2014. So if you want to check out one typical American family’s evolving intergenerational, multicultural adventures in consciousness. . . Actually, not typical at all. Go to that page to see why.

Not one, but two funny things happened on the way home. Funny now, not then. The first:

Sue had gotten on mapquest and printed out a map and directions for how to go from Acton, Massachusetts to Sue’s Mom’s house in Alliance. Ohio. Also, Sean had tried to explain the map function on my iphone, and plugged in Acton and Alliance addresses for me. Armed with intense awareness of my orientation in Space and Time, I got on the road. In my head, this mantra: “111 to 495 to 290 to I 90,” where I could float for hours and hours and hours, west across Massachusetts and upper New York State.

Made the the first three turns fine. Came to I90, and, with relief, took that swooping turn, though I did wonder why it said I90, rather than just 90. But beyond wondering, didn’t pay much attention. Hmmm. About 15 minutes down that gorgeous interstate I saw a sign saying I90 would end in two miles. What? I kept going. I90 turned into Route 2, and continued west, a nice divided highway. By this time, I realized something was wrong, but kept going. It was as if I was in a dream. How could this I90 be different from the I90 I came in on 8 days ago???

The divided route turned into two-lane, two way, then one-lane, two way, and got very narrow, winding, and strewn with fallen rocks, through the Berkshires. Okay. After about an hour of this I decided I’d better get off and figure out how to get back to I90, because obviously I had done something wrong. But what?

Got off, and drove up to a gas station, where the attendant, a very skinny young woman, looking like she was amped on something, told me that the highway system in Massachusetts is “very intelligent,” and proceeded to tell me why. I can no longer remember her explanation. At any rate, she told me I had to continue west on Route 2 for about 20 more minutes then south on 77 for about 30 miles before it intersected with I90. Okay.

I did that, still scratching my head as to what had gone wrong.

I had already inadvertently added about two hours to what promised to be an already grueling 11-hour trip. Luckily, I had started a great audio book, Shirley Maclaine’s “I’m Over All That,” which made me nod my head and laugh, all the way. My favorite quote: “Women ask me how they can get a man. I say forget a man, get a dog! And when it dies, don’t wait until you’re over that dog, get another one!” Exactly what I did when Emma died and Shadow came into my life. It is amazing how the love of a dog is so deeply satisfying.

Halfway through my six-hour trip through New York, while looking at sylphs frolicking with chem trails in the skies, I realized, with a jolt, just what I had done. I had mistaken the 1, in 190 for an I. I had been on 190 all that time, not 90. More laughing.

Day two: After a great dinner, sleep, and breakfast the next morning — thanks, Esther! — I was off at 7:30 am for an early start home. Figured I’d get to Indy about 1:30 p.m., and go to Trader Joe’s before heading for the final leg to Bloomington. Did that. Felt very virtuous, competent, centered, etc., having negotiated the right exit off 465 to get to the Trader Joe’s nearest to home.

Got home right when I predicted, 3 p.m. Started to unpack the car. Uh oh, where’s my purse? Ye gods.

YE GODS. WHERE’S MY PURSE?

It must be in one of the bags, just get them all out and sort through.

No purse. Panicky. Went next door to call Trader Joe’s. Aggie told me to calm down. Of course they would have it there. Dialed the number for me. Yes, they had it. So, after an hour’s walk with Shadow, we again got in the car, drove 1 hour and 20 minutes up, and 1 hour and 20 minutes back.

All in all, I had added about 5 hours to my 18 hour journey. But no sweat. I’m still alive. My dog’s fine, and the pod casts I listened to the second day, Steven Greer with Joe Rogan, and Ken Wilbur on the Sixth Stage of Human Evolution, were terrific. Travel as Education.

Home alone and loving it.