I joined facebook back in 2010, I think it was, and found myself posting there, geopolitical news I found significant, plus my own commentary. At the time I considered myself liberal, progressive, like all of my “friends,” both on and off facebook. In early 2011 I transitioned to a new website, exopermaculture.com for these commentaries, plus other types of commentary, all still, even now, aiming to “bridge/blend above and below” — and from then on I used facebook mostly to publicize each new exopermaculture post.

Meanwhile, gradually, my geopolitical allegiances had begun to mutate. Though progressive and liberal, I had never been truly a “Democrat,” but rather Independent, voting for the one I considered the least worst of the presidential candidates each election season. And each time, the least worst happened, I thought, to be Democratic; so I would file dispiritedly into the polling station to piss my small vote to into that stinky wind.

Meanwhile, also, around the same time that I joined facebook, I also stopped my print subscription to the daily New York Times, and instead, decided to check out all sorts of news sites on the internet, which is how I ended up doing the commentaries on the myriads of points of view I was finding there. I was aiming to thread my way through clickbait, misinfo and disinfo, to see if I could glean at least some modicum of “truth” on a daily basis, and meanwhile, to share with others, my findings.

Stopping the New York Times was a watershed moment, though I didn’t realize that at first. All of a sudden, my mostly blinkered (liberal, progressive) point of view dissolved into the swirling currents of an infinity of points of view that needed to be vetted or sourced. How? (Or, as Qanon would say, “How really?”) Is there any “factual” basis to anything? I’m reminded of a remark I made during the defense of my doctoral dissertation at Boston University in 1972: “The line between fiction and fact is very thin.” Though that statement may have seemed poetic at the time, 46 years later it looks prophetic.

Early on, I realized that “proving” any point of view,  is impossible, since there is always a larger or deeper, or “other” context in which whatever is being discussed looks entirely different! What I could do, however, is follow a news source for awhile, and, in that way, begin to glean its, or his, or her, particular bias, way of approaching “reality,” expecially noticing what he or she or it leaves out, or pays close attention to, emphasizes, etc. In other words, rather than ask “what is true?” I began to ask, “what are so-and-so’s assumptions”? An example here, is my recent discovery that Jerome Corsi ( though I still feel he offers an exceedingly valuable and informed point of view), given what he calls his “biblical” foundation, is as much a fundamentalist as any radical Muslim! What? I ask myself, Does he not see this? And does he not recognize that fundamentalism, of any kind, is the problem?

In those early years I suffered from cognitive dissonance, since I was both paying attention to “progressive” alternative sites, while also very much noticing anything that had to do with child trafficking, pedophilia, etc.

Progressive sites did not discuss pedophilia. That glaring omission disturbed me greatly, and thus my own cognitive dissonance. I had been what we now call “red-pilled” on that horrific issue with Kathy O’Brien’s book, Trance Formation of America, way back in the late ’90s. At some point I began to consider pedophilia, and by extension, Satanism, as the main source of corruption that has held most sectors of society, from top down and bottom up, in that trance, via blackmail for those implicated, and via denial, for those who refuse to even imagine that such a horrific reality is possible!

Then Trump came along, a bombastic, bloviating, narcissistic capitalist megabusinessman who has, however, signalled that he is highly aware of the pedophilia issue. I started to pay attention to his tweets. Which brought me to twitter, too. Though I had signed up way back when I signed up for facebook, I had not activated my twitter account. Not until a few months ago! Lurking on twitter, I notice that those I decide to follow are all basically “red-pilled,” which means, usually, that they are also pro-Trump.

So here I am, with facebook and twitter accounts, and the people that I surround myself with in these virtual realities inhabit totally different political realities! My friends on facebook are by and large still liberal, progressive, and hate Trump with a downright scary passion. Those I follow on twitter on the other hand, are by and large “conservative,” and thus mostly pro-Trump.

Who am I inside this swirling cacophony of screaming voices?

Mostly, I ignore the liberal vitriol on facebook, since the few times I did take issue with anti-Trump comments, it started a huge outcry, and I simply don’t have time or inclination to argue. Also, I am very aware that the massively pro-Trump broohaha of those I “follow” on twitter feels like a tiny, most likely somewhat misguided, slice of the opinion pie. Plus, in the main, the atmosphere, at least among the ones I follow on twitter, feels decidedly “mean.” As nasty as the anti-Trumpers on facebook!

And yet, I do find myself going to twitter first, for “breaking news.” That’s new. I used to try to do the same thing with facebook, but “breaking news” is not as likely to be found there, amidst all the selfie commentary.

Meanwhile, I’m working in my own way to get the level of vitriol in our society to lessen. I’m paying attention to when and where and how I personally get “triggered” — and work through the feelings that come up, rather than jump immediately to conclusions and blame someone or some situation in the “outside world” for being ignorant or wrong, or stupid, or just plain pig-headed!

Yes, noticing all the feelings, and my crying need to “duke it out” with so-and-so, to shake him or her or them to their senses, to “red pill” them by force! Instead yes, I notice the strong uncomfortable feelings, and breathe through them to the point where they begin to dissolve, so that I can again listen to the still small voice of intuition pointing me personally in the direction I am meant to go, all the while sensing the myriad points of view swirling around me without getting caught up or identified with any of them.