Whatever it is, it’s happening to me NOW. And it doesn’t feel good. It feels icky, confusing, even nauseating; as if I’m on a roller-coaster, with nothing anchoring the machine to the ground. No ground. Every thought, plan, decision, groundless, floating in air. That’s me now.

In fact, I still “don’t know if I have a soul.” That’s how profoundly recent readings and listenings have disturbed my formerly sure-of-myself attitude. Oh yeah, I’d like to say I’m open-mindedly alt-epistemological, all the way, but then again, I’m not! — as I discover lots of strange binary fundamentalisms within myself. Especially when it comes to my revulsion to the creeping ascendancy of A.I. and transhumanism, blending, fusing, dissolving so-called “human nature” (including soul) into the mechanics of off/on switches that can be controlled by outside forces controlled by inside forces controlled by outside forces . . .

If there’s no such thing as an unvarying “human nature,” if “essentialism” is taken off the table, all the way, then, then . . . WHAT IS REAL? What is the real underneath the simulation? Or, is the entire so-called reality that we see outside and feel inside just a simulation of some alien creature that is prodding and playing us like rats in a cage? Some recent Q posts seem to point in that direction (damn! can’t find them now), as has David Icke, with his long-held theory that reptilians from elsewhere are in charge.  Icke dismisses Q, by the way, thinks it’s just another psy-op in the cyclical round and round of assuming the-good-guys-are-taking-out-the-bad guys, so what’s to worry? I agree, BTW, with Icke’s implication — that trusting Q can promote apathy. Icke says such trust does promote apathy. I don’t think so, not necessarily; in this case, I’m less fundamentalist than Icke.

A few of the formerly cemented in “binaries” that are dissolving inside me now:

My revulsion against the newly-elected Muslim women as Democrats in the U.S. House. Which means, I presume, that they “follow sharia law.”  So I looked it up. Here’s one take on it, and it’s terrifying, especially the view towards women! Huh? And these new, brash, commanding Reps are all women? Do they not feel the cognitive/emotional dissonance between the domineering role they are playing and the submissive role they’re traditionally placed in by men?

http://www.billionbibles.org/sharia/sharia-law.html

Then I looked around and found another, much less scarifying piece on Muslims in America, in short, just another immigrant group in the process of assimilation.

https://www.sapiens.org/culture/sharia-united-states/

Okay. But wait a minute. There’s more. For example, Kauilapele pointed me to this video, and it’s certainly eye-raising. True? Were they all chosen through a casting call?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsObPEj9ZAY

But then, some of what they are doing, I secretly applaud. For example, going after Israel, and its influence on the U.S. Fiery Jim Fetzger does too, and not at all secretly, towards the beginning of this Joe Rogan podcast.

In short, I appreciate the young female Muslim’s disruptive influence on business as usual in American politics. Just as I appreciate Trump’s  disruptive influence. Not that they have anything else in common. The point is, folks, it’s not just politics. It’s everything. The old world is being wiped away, and we are left bereft, gasping for air.

In short,  I have a feeling that it’s not just the traditional mental structures I’ve held onto “for dear life” that are that are being thoroughly demolished. And it’s not just my Catholic family members that are no doubt enduring their own slow-mo secret catastrophic dissolution of long-held beLIEfs about the dependency of one’s “faith” in the divine via the agency of  “the church.”

I pretend that I don’t have any “beLIEfs,” but of course, I do. Deep ones, hidden ones, that I pull out when necessary to wham opponents. And these beLIEFs are being, upended, eviscerated, blown to smithereens.

Another example: my revulsion against the notion of sexual fluidity; in other words my own fundamentalism, another binary, regarding two and only two sexes. Check this out:

https://www.sapiens.org/body/intersex-biological-sex/

Not that I want to slice gender into smaller and smaller siloes, not that I want to enter the politically correct fray of “identity politics” and fight over the correct language to use with everybody whose “identity” is not quite mine; no. I don’t want to do that AND, I don’t want to let go of all boundaries. I hold a gut feeling that Trump, and other “nationalists” are right, at least in the short term. That we do need borders, walls, in order to stave off the mass confusion and chaos that attends everybody mixing with everybody else, and then being forced into conformity via either sharia law or some other New World Order.

We need those walls now. Probably not in the halcyon future after humans, living in a decentralized, interconnected world, have begun to take back both their projections and their fractured minds, re-membering our participation in the biome of this good Earth, growing and sharing Her generous abundance.

P.S. Here’s another shiboleth I’ve had to let go of over the past year: my attitude towards Jerome Corsi.

I think back to when I used to listen to his daily briefs as my chief Q decoder. Just loved his avuncular voice, and his seeming sureness in figuring out how to make sense of Q’s coded language. Then, when Corsi got riled when Q called out those who are making a profit off the Q movement, I felt puzzled. Wondered why it bothered him, specifically, so much. This morning, I came across this next post. And it makes a lotta lotta sense! Plus, it helps me see how I can be bamboozled by the the best of them and the worst of them, and that I can’t even tell the difference.

In short, according to serialbrain2, Corsi was sent by Alex Jones, who wanted to bring Q followers along, via Corsi decodes, and then cut Q followers away from Q and towards his own Alex Jones platform. In other words, Q was a threat to infowars profits, and he tried to use Corsi to disarm the threat. True?

Serialbrain2 calls both Corsi and Jones “limited hangouts,” controlled opposition, since both will never bash the state of Israel, supposed controller of the U.S.A. Oops, so here we are back to the Israel connection, called out by the newly elected Muslim Democratic women.

The Long and Secret Info Wars Against Q

Okay, so where do I end up today? Whirling around, not sure of my own center (do I have one?) but planning on doing my daily practices, yoga, chikung and taichi, to help me stand at the still point of the turning world.

One of my favorite mantras: routine builds character. I perform my meditative physical practices on a daily basis, just as I also walk my puppy Shadow, for at least an hour, every morning. Yes. Two full hours of what I call “physical culture” daily. That way, no matter how my mind whirls, refuses to hold on to the tugs of its many mind-controlled? mind-imposed? anchors, at least I can return to some semblance of a brand-new beginning, every single day.