On my solo woodsy walk, during which, by the way, I got lost. Twice. . . That part feels more like Neptune than Saturn/Pluto conjunct Moon opposite Sun/Mercury — and I finally took a photo of the map to orient me —
— but it meant that the walk, as a consequence felt like a heavy trudge, an ordeal — especially because I did not sleep well last night; my entire body/mind/psyche felt very “Saturn/Pluto” as a matter of fact, how to describe . . . a dark foreboding, a harsh, stern, endless struggle enveloping not just me, but the whole Earth. No play, no joy, just unremitting, unrelenting trauma and insomnia, and the hard work of trying to banish monkey mind, and especially, relax.
Full Moon/lunar eclipse occurred at 2:21 pm EST today, at 21° Cancer, directly conjunct and opposite the ongoing, and now climaxing Saturn/Pluto saga. Here it is for Acton, Mass.
So, on my walk today, which I ended just prior to Full Moon, and besides Neptunian, that walk also felt felt VERY Uranian — sudden surprising veering off-trail without realizing it — and those Uranian swerves increased the Saturn/Pluto slog, making me double back twice — I must have trudged up and down Great Hill three full times trying to find my way out of the place.
While I sometimes relish long treks, not this one. It was icy, and I was exhausted even before I began, doing it as a matter of daily duty (Saturn), and aiming for just an hour, and was out there for two hours. Famished. Especially since I started at noon and had not eaten lunch. Plus, this 77-year-old is increasingly leery of falling on ice and breaking (Uranus) something . . . Plus, the immense effort required to go up, up, up, up, three times, while hoisting my aging, exhausted legs and feet over logs, nearly tripping on hidden roots. Having to remain utterly centered and focused, despite the arduous nature of the task, the relentless slogging sense of pushing my weak, hungry body way beyond its comfort zone. Arduous, necessary, dogged, no fun, just work.
That’s Capricorn Saturn/Pluto in a nutshell, folks! Especially when closely illumined by the Full Moon at 21° Cancer (family), and here I am with family for the final day and Kiera is too sick to get up and walk with me, and everybody else is working, laboring at their own hard tasks.
I should say, it’s all very Saturn; I feel myself pushing Pluto down, trying not to allow the great upwelling of Plutonian primal life energy . . . On the other hand, what got me through that lost period but primal life energy? I am always surprised when I have more energy than I recognized before I began. Always surprised when I can draw on the universal aliveness powering everything when needed, when I prove resilient, even in tough conditions. Not that this was tough. No dogs or wild animals or murderers were chasing me. It was purely my own life energy that felt depleted, and still I had to push on, draw on the invisible inflowing for fuel. I wince to imagine how people with no homes, no food, no love anywhere, can survive during these difficult times.
Of course I should feel grateful. And I know that I do, but just not now. Today I look at all that is ahead of me — two legs to the journey, on lousy Spirit airlines, where the seats don’t recline and I had to pay $100 extra just for just one bag (they charge for each flight) besides for the seats I chose (aisle). First flight 3.5 hours. Second flight 2.5 hours, with only 45 minutes layover in Orlando Florida. Yuck.
Then, on return home, must get my car towed in— the ABS (brake) light went on the day before I flew out here . . . and must attend to numerous other (Saturn) duties, on and on —
Oh wow! Sean just told me that Kiera’s fever broke, she is back up and around, and she and Drew will both come for dinner this evening, and the Bill Hicks movie afterwards. Another Uranian swerve, on this amazing Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse day. Our little family will gather one more time after all. I feel better already.
Oops! What will she think of the fact that I finished our hard sloggy Saturn/Pluto clearing project (see previous posts) without her permission?
Both our visits with family and our project concluded on the Full Moon, signifying fruition! Wow. Yes, feeling better already as I notice synchronicities provided by the universe.