Last night I watched the 2017 film, I, Tonya, and was struck by the increasing relevance of this excellent portrayal of intense ambition poisoned by abuse. So odd that I should pick that film, when I had seven other library DVDs to choose from!
And yet not odd at all, for the atmosphere of this film happened to echo that day’s experience for me, in spades; and it rendered me intensely grateful to realize that most of my life has not been laced with abuse; not at all. Nor does abuse feature strongly in most of the lives of those I know and live with.
Occasions of abuse are rare, but they do exist. So I do know what others are going through during this extraordinary time that features division, hatred verging on vitriol, even violence — at every scale and on a seemingly continuous basis.
Yes. Yesterday, I was with someone close to me, when, all of a sudden, seizing a pretext for disagreement, he unleashed heretofore hidden old rage onto me. Took me by surprise! This dear being was projecting onto me, now, the same vicious energy that his father had habitually laid on him way back when he was a teenager. Not that he realized it. But I did.
And yet this was not the time to attempt to heal this suddenly opened breach. I instinctively knew that. But my knowing didn’t help me not to feel pummeled, abused, downright stomped on. His mental and emotional rage struck me hard, forcefully; it rang through my body, too. Both of us were victimized by the powerful, violent, discordant energies surging through his body and erupting via his mind as “reasons” for the rage.
How many of us are enduring this kind of massive breakdown in our otherwise intimate human relations, demonstrated via sudden eruptions that blow us away, leave us trembling with shock, loss, and fear. The divisions among us are not just ideological, political, or geopolitical; they are deeply, terribly personal; we’re all feeling the wracking pain that attends powerful emergent earth energies breaking old structures of containment: no matter who is the one igniting an insult, both sides are victimized by this massive upheaval in the zeitgeist that tends to pit everyone against one another unceasingly.
Or it can. When we’re not consciously aware of the energies, and not equipped, via our own personal, daily, body/mind centering practices, to remain in the present moment, no matter what comes in from left field to knock us out of the park.
Combine unpredictable Uranus in fixed, earthy, stubborn Taurus (since mid-May 2018) with serious, death and rebirth Pluto/Saturn in structural, disciplined, earthy Capricorn (Pluto since 2008, Saturn since December 2017), and then add in pugnacious Mars, in its closest approach to Earth, moving backwards for two months (late June through late August) in the mass mind sign of Aquarius back into Capricorn, and what do you get? A looping back to the past. A drudging up of old hurts, old wounds, old paranoia, old programming, and, usually, projecting them onto whoever comes close. The result? Continuous, mostly unconscious (I’m being kind!) splitting into factions, divisions, which we then attempt to violently either force back into “unity” or else destroy the other side and emerge victorious.
Lisa Marie, of energeticsynthesis.com. has much to say on this matter.