Alt-Epistemology: From fear to fascination, our shifting “bottom lines”

Hmmmm. . . Except for continuing commentary on the January 2016 post, “How we used to die, how we die now,” I have, in less than 24 hours, received more “comments” on the Alt-Epistemology post I put up yesterday,  than any other in the seven years I have been doing this blog. Hmmm . . . again. What’s up?

Well, I do feel that what is up is that we are, collectively, running up against the conceptual helmet, or cage, of old, collective, encrusted, so embedded as to be mostly unconscious, cultural and ideological be-lie-f structures; and that for most people, this process of ramming into and then, inevitably, quickly or slowly, dismantling is not only scary as hell, it is also so confusing that in order to truly “break through to the other side” most of us need to master fear,  to turn fear into fascination — and thereby allow ourselves to  rise/fall through space, further and further, all the while also remaining grounded with our own two feet, preferably bare feet, upon the living conscious ground of this dear Earth mother who hosts and feeds us as long as we are, after all, in these bodies which function, for Her, as antennae, linking Above to Below.

It’s inescapable, this emergent need to straddle both worlds, to work with both sides of any coin, both body/mind, inside/outside, left/right, good/bad, me/you, on and on, and suspend thinking that we must “come down on one side or the other.”

What is at issue here, is the inescapably polarized nature of this old, standardized 3D reality; and as we learn to embrace paradox, to see “both sides at once,” while standing apart and detached from either one, we then burst the frequency fence of this dimension and find ourselves in a larger, higher, more rarified “atmosphere.” This, folks, is what “Ascension” entails, and we can do it right here on Earth, while embodied, once we take off those silly conceptual helmets and shake out our hair.

Camille Flammarion, L’Atmosphere: Météorologie Populaire (Paris, 1888), p. 163. Colorized by Susanna J. Magruder. Courtesy History of Science Collections, University of Oklahoma Libraries.

Back in the ’60s, we old hippies used to do this regularly, every time we dropped acid, or mescaline, or peyote. For awhile there, we got quite adept at functioning in both worlds, and, for those of us who still have our memories, let’s face it, even though “the world moved on,” the zeitgeist shifted, we ourselves  never quite got over the fact that what most people call “the world” is not what we had been taught it was, not what we now so glibly label as “the matrix,” a monolithic programmed illusion that keeps us all in the dark about the continuously expanding possibilities of our own inherent evolutionary drive and its inescapable expansion into the divine.

So, whenever we ask, in this 3D world, “what is true?” and want to — are expected to — cite “factual evidence” or come up with some kind of “proof” according to the rules of formal logic, this left-brain methodology which is in itself part of the matrix programming — then let’s face it, we are still conditioned to be-lie-ve in 3D as the end-all and be-all of what is “real.”

And of course we all still do it, we still ask WHAT IS TRUE?; we can’t help ourselves; either that, or we’ve got to find some other way to orient ourselves to the cascading internet onslaught of impressions, ideas, claims, the flooding info and disinfo that threatens, at every second, to overwhelm.

And because it does, we’ve lost our capacity to remember! It’s just gone, poof! Not only old folks like me who may or may not be drifting into dementia, but young ones too! And middle-aged ones! let’s face it. Let’s be kind to ourselves. How can we remember anything, when the stupid, distracting, evanescent flood just keeps pouring through?

In the face of our universal addiction to the continuing digital onslaught on the screens of our “devices,” how to put Humpty Dumpty together again? How to “put  even two and two together again?” How to “connect the dots“!! HELP! HELP!

Yes, we keep trying, we can’t help ourselves. The Qanon carrot keeps dangling on the end of the stick and we keep running after, seeking the next hole that might contain the key info to riches we seek. Curiosier and curiosier, we hurtle with Alice down whatever rabbit hole of our unknowing, pretending that hopefully this hole has a bottom somewhere, where? Full of gold, or diamonds. OR TRUTH! BUT where is it? WHERE IS THE BOTTOM?? Or do I just keep on falling? Can I stop, hold on, “discern,” reconsider? Hold on to what? That rock there, jutting out from the tunnel, aha! It points to another tunnel jutting off from the first, also hurtling straight or nearly straight DOWN.

Somehow I’m reminded right now of the basement level of the Grand Pyramid of Giza. After stooping over to walk hunched and single-file down the long angled tunnel descending to the bottom, we are surprised to find . . . what? What is the foundation of this amazing, enormous, precisely engineered structure from our ancient past? Well, as I recall, it’s a strange tumble of rocks and dirt, possibly the entrance to a tunnel, but you can’t be sure. It looks to me, like the aftermath of an earthquake, or flooded earthquaked land. Very strange. CHAOS, to offset the extreme, intense ORDER above.

One more polarity to encompass, one more paradox to embrace.

Yup, at the bottom of everything we (think we) hold dear — all the seeming order we’ve carved out in our lives, seems to be chaos!

NO NO NO! It can’t be. Let’s just “connect the dots” — at least this one time! — to find the bottom, the “source,” the “fact” that makes all the rest of it make sense, the one bottom-line factual rock that we can hoard or stand upon or trumpet to the world as ours.

Just imagine: all these eager people, truth seekers, each clinging to one or more “solid” tiny little node in the matrix; rather than gearing ourselves to see through that so-called solidity too, we tend to use it to buttress our “identity” as “truth-tellers,” ” citizen investigators.”

Oh? Well, maybe so. Okay. So what! This is important. This one linear thread that I’m trying my damnedest to follow down to the bottom, to find its “bottom line.” To get certainty. Security. Finally. At last. Done. For now. Aha! Oh wait! There’s a new thread? New dots to connect! Oops! There I go again, on the trail, on the hunt, to be the first one who “figured it out,” or (more evolved), with others, to make us all feel connected as we figure it out.

Yes.  We seek proof. We go to “sources. ” We enter even further into whatever is that made-up world that “makes sense of,” offers context for, the best, highest , most nuanced or abstract perspective on, the chief evidence for, etc. whatever it is that we and/or others are claiming, justifying, rationalizing, using to bash others over the head!

But what if we could learn to transform our fear (of not finding the bottom, the “fact” the “proof”) into fascination (with infinity)?

What if there is no “bottom line”? What if, like Earth herself, we are suspended in mystery, nourished by etheric winds, loved inside endless immensity, at one with all and everything?

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6 Responses to Alt-Epistemology: From fear to fascination, our shifting “bottom lines”

  1. Barbara says:

    And as it gets curiosier and curiosier, I get more curious! Walking a fine line, bouncing off imaginary walls, “what if, but, no, really, what if”, breathing in-breathing out, and assuring myself, Elder/Crone that I am, that this Mystery may be one that’s not to be solved and darn, I do love a happy ending. Thanks, Ann, for putting into words what many of us are trying to put into words! Love, B.

    • Ann Kreilkamp says:

      You are so welcome! I too, thank whatever rushes through mind and fingers during these astonishing times.

  2. Anthony says:

    Hmmm…back in the ’80’s, I did acid and mushrooms. Those experiences were what made me start to seriously question reality and open to change my beliefs. They were also what probably precipitated my near-death experience, too, because the soul wants you to EARN your knowledge, no cheating allowed!! So I don’t recommend them for everyone 🙂

    Thanks for continuing to give voice to the thoughts that seem to be coming to many at this time. I always learn something from your writings.

    BTW: Just heard there was a big earthquake in Hawaii. Didn’t you say that there would be potential major earth changes at this time, as your astrological charts indicated? I live in California, so I’m paying pretty close attention to this stuff!!

    • Ann Kreilkamp says:

      Yes, I would not recommend psychedelics for everyone either. As a matter of fact, I only “dropped acid” twice. No more needed to affect the shift needed inside my psyche. BTW: Speaking as an astrologer, those like myself, born between 1942 and 1945, have unconscious structures (geometric relations among the outer planets Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto) that are unusually stable and harmonious (sextile and trine). Which means that, as a generation, we can engage in this kind of psychic experimentation more productively than later generations born with structures not so stable. Just a word to the wise!

      Re: earthquakes, yes. Especially once Uranus moves into Taurus, on May 16th, for seven years.

  3. John says:

    Thanks for sharing these thoughts Ann. As you know I have always questioned reality and am working harder to honor the truth in my own deeper understanding. Thank you for being here.


    • Ann Kreilkamp says:

      Yes, John. You are one of the unusual men in my life who can and does actually commit to PROCESSING his experience, all the way through, no matter what you discover! Everything is grist for the mill, and when integrated, opens us even further to greater understanding and compassion.

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