My son Sean finally gives in and gets grandson Drew a dog . . .

Drew, now 12 years old, has been angling for a dog for at least five years. PLEASE . . . PLEASE DAD, PLEASE . . .!

Drew knew that if he begged in my presence, his plea would be sharply amplified.

So, in my most commanding fiery tone, I’d admonish: “Yeah, Sean! get Drew a dog!!!”

So the time has come! The dog (come on, Sean, what’s her name?), a 7-month old pup, arrived Sunday night at their home in Acton, Massachusetts. On Tuesday Sean told me he was worried about her, that she “tried to eat a stone.” I wondered if maybe she wasn’t getting enough minerals?

So, here’s what went down that same Tuesday evening, as conveyed via email to his Mom, brother Colin, and three very old friends in the droll, endearing manner so characteristic of this subtle, gentle, sensitive man, who is also, obviously, a fabulous storyteller.

 

Boy, I had an absolutely horrible night last night …

It started at around 6pm when I decided to grill some drumsticks. I went outside with the drumsticks on a plate, set the plate down on top of the grill and then tried to light the grill. Apparently the rain has (hopefully temporarily) ruined my starter button for the burners. I then went inside to get matches, but of course Kiera must have left them somewhere because they were nowhere to be found. I then, using my stove, set fire to a paper towel so that I could bring it outside to the light the grill. That didn’t work, so I went inside to light up another paper towel.

[You might, at this point think that this story is going to go down the “uncontrollable fire” route, but you’d be wrong …]

Apparently while I was busy trying to make fire, my dog was busy stealing raw drumsticks. When I finally got the grill working I looked up and noticed that she was eating something. I then looked at my plate of drumsticks and realized that it was probably shy by a few drumsticks. I ran over to her and she quickly swallowed the one she was eating.

I frantically called friends with dogs to ask for advice and one of them suggested calling the vet. I had thought the vet would be closed at that point, but apparently they still take calls. They told me that the drumsticks had to come out and directed me to go to Westford Veterinary Emergency Referral Center. I took her there and they did an X-Ray and then induced her to vomit. The X-Ray showed that she had broken one bone in half but the other one was eaten whole! Relieved, I finally took her home at around 9pm

Unfortunately, though, the story doesn’t end here …

Within 15 minutes of being home Drew noticed that she was eating something and that the “something” was making cracking noises as she ate it. Apparently Drew had left his plate with 2 drumstick bones in the den and she had absconded with one of the drumsticks! I desperately ran over to her and tried to pry it from her mouth. I only ended up getting a little less than half a bone from her mouth. Okay, time for another trip to Westford …

They laughed when they saw me again … this time we went straight for the “induce vomiting” session (only $71 this time [my visit from an hour prior was $355]). This time we got out at around 11pm

Unfortunately my instructions are to offer her only hamburger and rice for 2 or 3 days. So I’m not sure if in her mind the consequence for eating chicken bones is “they’ll induce me to vomit” OR “I’ll soon top this off with a couple days worth of meat&rice” …

PS: For those of you who haven’t seen a picture of her before, she’s got a cute little heart on her nose (see attached image). That, plus the Cindy Crawford like mole and eye-shadow like markings make her face look really adorable, don’t you think? 🙂

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About Ann Kreilkamp

PhD Philosophy, 1972. Rogue philosopher ever since.
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