I know that title sounds dramatic. But wait until you know what happened. And don’t you ever let anybody tell you this Life on Earth isn’t utterly and totally magical.
For months now I’ve been searching for the one hard copy that I knew I had, of A Soul’s Journey, the story of my first 30 years of life, my first Saturn cycle. A spiritual autobiography, this manuscript is one-of-a-kind, and though I wrote it back when I was in the middle of my second cycle of Saturn, in 1985, it’s only ready to be published now. I knew I was supposed to publish it now. Or at least I thought so. But I couldn’t find it. Not on my computer, and no hard copy either. I ransacked my files and boxes, both upstairs and in the basement. I freaked out. Finally, I did find one version of it on a DVD, some kind of photographed version of the only hard copy I have (or had), that my friend Julie had done for me at IU years ago. However, that copy corrupted the print in places.
For about a month I sat down every day and retyped it from that corrupted photographed version. Which meant that I wasn’t sure about all of it. I still desperately wanted the hard copy.
In early May I published the initial sections of the retyped manuscript here:
Meanwhile, life went on. In July I was up at the Oakwood Retreat Center, and amazingly enough, met exactly the person who I think should edit this manuscript. Besides being a professional editor, he understands the project (a blow-by-blow, nearly clinical, account of one young person in the ’60s “changing her mind” told from an inner/outer perspective. I have literally never seen anything like it in my life). Of course I wanted to send him a hard copy of the entire thing first, so he can get an overview before looking at it in detail.
He was having computer problems, and told me he’d be up and running about now. So I’ve been thinking about that damn manuscript again, the original one, still furious that I haven’t been able to locate it to send to him. But I had given up.
Okay. Fast forward to this evening, and what I would call MY “Mars conjunct Saturn in Scorpio” event. (For the past week warlike Mars has been moving to conjunct Saturn, both in Scorpio, the deepest of subterranean signs, to be exact on Monday, August 26. However, with Mars, the most potent time is always ahead of the exact date, since it is the nature of Mars to race ahead, or, in Scorpio, to try to run, through dark, turgid water . . .).
In this case, Saturn in Scorpio: something hidden, deep down. Mars triggers it, brings what was hidden to the surface!
Okay, this evening, I was sitting here at my computer when Rebecca entered the room. “Look what I found!” She hands me a box. She looked startled. She had been cleaning the DeKist garage, in preparation for our neighborhood yard sale event coming up. The box had appeared, “right on top of my stuff”! — she said, puzzled.
We went over there. I took a picture. Asked her to point at the place where the box had balanced, precariously in this old mildew-filled garage, looking not at all mildewed itself, as if it had been placed there, fresh, a very short while ago. Nobody else has access to this garage. It is locked.
Of course, you already know what was in the box. It appeared like this:
Underneath my box of colored pencils, voila!
She had had no idea of what I was going through with this manuscript. The writing and scholarly aspect of me is not part of our partnership. You can imagine how excited I was; how I jumped up and down, screaming my joy! You can imagine how pleased she was to see me so wildly happy, and so surprised, even shocked! She was surprised too, because of how it appeared there, precariously balanced on top of the black bag.
I told her of how Jeff, my late husband, sometimes does this, hides stuff, or finds it for me. How there are times when there is seemingly no other explanation. However, I said, this time, maybe it wasn’t him, because he died in 2003, and it’s been a long time since he played 3-D tricks. So maybe somebody else in the spirit world did it? In any case, to me it felt like a confirmation. YES. Time to get this manuscript into the world.
I went back into my room. Then, I remembered. OMMIGODDESS! IT’S AUGUST 22, JEFF’S BIRTHDAY.