Cardinal Grand Cross Week, Personal Log: April 20-21, Easter Sunday, Day 1

On the surface, around here, we’re doing what we do in spring, preparing for the GANG garden (Green Acres Neighborhood Garden) which lies still dormant —


except for potatoes and peas planted among the dandelions (great for green drinks in spring) — and other perennials, including runaway clematis, which I have been tasked with uprooting this afternoon. Rebecca will put them in pots to sell.

More seedlings than ever before. Maybe three or four times as many!

IMG_0010 All this thanks to Rebecca, who, by the way, has just had her original Birkenstocks re-soled.


She’s had them for 40 years.

Meanwhile, underneath, in the invisible realms, what I’ve personally noticed so far about this remarkable Grand Cross Energy: two frequency fields, like oil and water. Intermingling, but not fusing.

The first frequency field: that of old old shit, coming up for review, and, hopefully, clearing. This includes, starting a few weeks ago, a drama where someone that I thought I could trust “ripped me off” and I have to work with the familiar, and terrible feelings of betrayal. Underneath the feeling of betrayal lingered another nagging feeling, that I had not said certain things to this person, for fear of triggering rage, which I could sympathize with, since I too, am war-wounded.

And this emotional drama, in turn, triggered the recurrence of an old set of physical symptoms with my jaw and teeth, going back to my 30s, when I was briefly “with” a decidedly war-wounded man and could not speak truth to him for fear of triggering his rage, and then further than that, back to childhood, when my long-running existential condition was that of C.J. Jung’s definition of “lonely:”

“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

What was the unspeakable? Nuclear war. My fear of nuclear war. A conscious, paralyzing fear that I had carried since August 1947, when I was not even three years old. No one I knew carried themselves around as if they had already been obliterated by a mushroom cloud. I was the only one. All the other kids could play as if they were children. I had to pretend and clamp my jaw shut.

(For the astonishing story of how I finally realized that I personally was not responsible for nuclear war, an encounter with the Goddess Sekhmet in a small temple at Karnak that left me, finally, free, see Meeting Sekhmet.)

So yes, that’s one frequency field, that of war, nuclear war, all the attendant fears. And look what’s happening in the external world now as the Grand Cross ramps up! Ukraine inspiring all sorts of headlines that include “nuclear war” as an actual option! Can you believe that idiocy is surfacing again?

BTW: I’m working with my “rotting jaw” drama by following a somewhat demanding protocol: drinking one to two cups of bone broth daily, doing a coconut oil pull three times a day followed by gargling with an antibiotic herbal mixture. Plus, a dropperful of certain flower essences twice a day, and I’ve ordered “fermented cod liver oil.” All this at the behest of my healer, niece Megan, who performed her magic with my spine and skull and jaw one week ago. The situation feels much better already.

The other frequency field is as light as the other is dark. What I’ve noticed is that the twirling, swirling Grand Cross dynamic appears to be lifting all boats not still clinging to shore, jostling them on tremendous flows and currents of LOVE, bringing into my world exactly what I’ve been calling for: more and more people who wish to join our Green Acres Neighborhood Ecovillage experiment. Yesterday, as this Grand Cross started, I happened to meet two beautiful young couples, both with dogs, as we were out on our walks. Both of them came over to the garden to talk more. All four are going to join our monthly potlucks, help grow and harvest food in the GANG garden gang and more. Neighbor Rebecca tells me that her goal to get art on the DeKist house (the one next to mine, that holds the GANG garden) has fueled a project with local Harmony School, where the kids are going to make life-sized renderings of people they want to honor as ECO WARRIORS! Yes!

And today, on my walk, puppy Shadow and I went down to the IU campus, and must have had momentary heart encounters with at least two dozen strangers on sidewalks lined with trees just now leafing into green. And more than ever before, what I saw and felt on these “strangers” faces was smiles, smiling, even laughter. We all know one another. We are not separate. We are one family, one world.


About Ann Kreilkamp

PhD Philosophy, 1972. Rogue philosopher ever since.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to Cardinal Grand Cross Week, Personal Log: April 20-21, Easter Sunday, Day 1

  1. laurabruno says:

    So interesting, as the person “haunting” my teeth for years was also a war-torn veteran, whom I finally exorcized late last summer. In addition to the things you listed, I also found raw goat milk and any raw cheese very, very helpful, as well as swishing black walnut hull tincture in water a few times a day for two weeks (to heal and re-enamel a cracked tooth), along with Jarrow Bone-Up, which has extra vitamin K. For me, the physical things verrrry slowly held the cavities at bay. Once I did the exorcism, all the problems stopped. I went to the dentist and didn’t even have as many fillings as I used to. One tiny cavity where a filling had fallen out, but the rest of the lost fillings had completely filled in. It was like getting an entirely new mouth! … Just to affirm that it’s possible….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *