Update, 6:12 p.m. With “fear and trembling,” I sent this post to the “object of my dreamtime affections,” Zen. Immediately, tongue in cheek, he shot back: “Love it, you rascal! So that was you last night?” So much fun, this on-line community we are growing.
Venus stationed today, at 10:33 am, to go retrograde, for 43 days. Venus moves in retrograde motion (appears, from Earth’s point of view, to travel backwards through the sky) every 18 months. So it’s not that rare. On the other hand, all things Venusian need to be reeled in for a 43-day look-see.
What’s going on in your life romantically and fiscally? These two areas especially. What do you value? Are you sure? Is your thinking in alignment with your heart? I ask the last question because Venus turns to go retrograde at 24° of cerebral Gemini, within three degrees of an exact opposition to that famous Galactic Center at 27° Sagittarius that figures so strongly in tales of the Mayan Calendar and Winter Solstice, 2012.
Interesting, in this context: last night I had an erotic dream. Well, I wouldn’t say erotic, but certainly Venusian. First, it was just an experience of my own embodied self as pretty, young, sensuous, attractive. It’s been a long time since I self-identified as an “attractive woman,” so in itself, this part of the dream is interesting. Indeed, feeling myself in my own body that way filled me with wonder, even in the dream, and certainly afterwards, when I woke up. For the dream did wake me up.
Then, in the dream, next scene: I’m having a “relationship” with Zen Gardner! That his interest in me is the source of my feeling attractive!
I wasn’t going to mention his name here, since he’s in the public eye and I’m embarrassed to do so. But hell, why not? And why would my unconscious pick up on this “figure” (someone whom I have never met in 3D reality) as an aspect of myself that I am in “relationship” with? For that’s how I see dream figures — and in waking life as well — whoever is drawn to me and vice versa; or, the opposite, whoever is repelled by me and vice versa — is a previously unknown or unresolved aspect of myself with whom I’m needing to come into conscious recognition and relationship. In this manner, all desires and aversions transform into food for the process of becoming whole.
So, how do I see Zen Gardner? Well, he’s curious (very Gemini), and signs his posts, “Just wondering”!
And his deliberations range all over the place, connecting up metaphysical, physical, symbolic, magic, paranormal — all sorts of realms, in numerous ways.
And he writes of both the dark and the light and how they are or aren’t connected. And how one covers, or can pretend to be, the other. (Venus in Gemini: the twins.)
And he writes clearly. I admire that. (Venus: values; Gemini: clear and distinct ideas).
In my dream, I told him that whenever I see one of his posts, I know it’s his just by title. The titles are so zany and weird. I’m usually right.
I had no idea Zen Gardner figured so strongly in my unconscious imagination, but apparently so! In any case, I thought I was connecting up all sorts of realms already, but maybe not, and certainly not as boldly and baldly as he!
Sometimes I find myself agreeing with him, nodding my head, of course, of course! And marvel at the way he connects the dots. Other times I find myself nodding, vociferously, side to side, NO. I don’t believe that! You’re missing one big piece that would turn your thinking in a whole new direction . . .
In any case, Zen Gardner prods my thinking cap — Gemini; and I love it! — Venus.
And it does seem important that in 2012 Venus makes its station opposite the G.C. ( a point which also happens to be exactly conjunct my Sun at 27° Sagittarius). Somehow, Venus is pointing us in that Sagittarian direction, telling us to go through that rabbit hole at the center of this galaxy, daring us to trip into the multidimensionality of the all in all.
I’m reminded of a Borges quote, which I remember dimly from my ancient past, when my teacher told me to read Borges, that I would like him ( and I did). Now this quote graces the frontispiece of the Graham Hancock book Entangled: The Eater of Souls, which I am currently devouring: Here’s the quote:
“This web of time — the strands of which approach one another, bifurcate, intersect, or ignore each other through the centuries — embraces every possibility. We do not exist in most of them. In some you exist and not I, while in others I do, and you do not, and in yet others both of us exist. In this one, in which chance has favored me, you have come to my gate. I say these very same words but am an error, a phantom . . . Time is forever dividing itself toward innumerable futures . . .” Jorge Luis Borges, Ficciones
That about says it! I imagine Venus in Gemini curiosity investigating strand upon strand of these entangled webs we weave, without really realizing that we have no idea what we are doing or what it all means. Gemini doesn’t really care what it means. But Sagittarius does, cares deeply. Tries to put it all together, but then finds perspectives continually shifting, evolving, mutating, to include more and more and more . . .
In the chart for the Venus station, Venus exactly trines Saturn in Libra and closely squares Moon in Pisces. Moon and Saturn are in an inconjunct relationship to each other. This triangular configuration — of one square (90°), one trine (120°) and one in conjunct (150°) — to me, symbolizes the capacity for continuous growth. The square provokes movement, the trine stabilizes it, and the inconjunct makes continuous subtle adjustments necessary to stay on track.
Venus in Gemini square Moon in Pisces: how to integrate mind and heart, intelligence and sensitivity? How to speak from the heart without sentimentality?
Venus in Gemini trine Saturn in Libra: in any relationship (Libra, which is ruled by Venus), there must be equality, an equal exchange. This goes for internal relationships of two aspects of one’s own being as well as external relationships with another being.
Saturn in Gemini inconjunct Moon in Pisces: how to subtly adjust the need for stability with changeable feelings? How to stay in character while allowing oneself to be impacted by the other?
All these considerations will be up for us during the next 43 days.
I have two triangles of continuous growth in my own natal chart, both very close to exact. And as a good friend of mine once said, “Annie, I like to evolve gradually, by walking slowly through beautiful, nearly horizontal meadows. But you? You pick the nearest rocky, vertical cliff, and head straight up.”
And yes, mine is a dangerous path. I’ve often fallen. But every time I fall, something catches me. By this time I realize that I have been protected, all my life, from the more devil-may-care aspects of my own nature.
In the dream, Zen and I were going to lie down together, and at first it was in a very public area, but then I discovered a private area that actually was mine, though I had never used it, and even though it was messy, I could clean it up. That’s where the dream ended.
I woke up and thought, hmmm, Zen Gardner. How strange.
And even stranger, that this kind of “relationship” dream, symbolized by the planet Venus, should come in the very early morning of the day Venus — the planet that symbolizes love, relationships, what and/or who one values — turned to go retrograde, something I had forgotten about until early this afternoon, while running errands (Gemini).