I was going to start today’s postings with something on today’s Occupy Wall Street action, plus something about Johan Callemann’s interpretation of going into the Seventh Day, Sixth Night — or is it Sixth Day, Seventh Night? I’m too wasted to look it up — of his (October 28, 2011) version of the Mayan Calendar, but . . . hell, go google them yourself! I’m beat, fatigued, worn out by my left brain’s need to keep flogging itself into figuring out what’s going on while pretending(?) to be in the right brain flow of the current of being.
My addiction to providing others with a certain multidimensional window on the internet has found me today acutely aware, once again, of my addictive personality. At least I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore. But this, this! Alas!
I discovered the depths of my internet addiction a few weeks ago when my connection went down, and of course, drove immediately to an internet cafe down the road and to blog about it. But that disconnect wasn’t voluntary. I need to do a voluntary break, with no particular “reason” or “excuse,” except knowing that going to the local Lotus Festival this afternoon and evening, and working in the garden all day tomorrow will do me a world of good!
But wait a minute, isn’t that just more “doing,” more plugging myself into one project or another? Is this how I gain my “value”? Do I have to work hard to be of worth? Do my German genes rule?
I confess, I’m scared. Scared that I won’t make it through the weekend. Scared that I’ll find myself anxious, confused, at loose ends, unable to be.
One compromise: I’ve agreed with myself that I will be allowed to take notes — by hand. No computer, no iphone, no ipad. Nada. Until Monday morning.
Meanwhile, FYI, there are now 773 posts on this site. Can you believe? In not quite seven months. Most of them still relevant. So if you hanker for more, there’s always more.
Until then, blessings!