So this is what purgatory feels like. Suffering without an obvious end. Suspended between lives. Out of the loop. Drifting upon an endless sea of nervous energy with no outlet, no plug-in.

Meaning: I’m still without my computer.

I truly had not realized how computers are embedded within the nervous system. Had no real understand how, without it, I think I have no place to express my considerable energy.

Of course, none of this is true. But it feels true. And I’ve been acting as if it’s true.

Today I decided that I needed to learn how to use this ipad for more than just email and web-surfing. Can’t believe that this is what was blocking me. This unwillingness to adjust my own habits enough to retrain my nervous and small-motor muscular system to use this type of machine rather than that one. To remember to touch the screen rather than move the mouse.

I’d like to put up a few photos from my trip to Seattle, but don’t know how to do that on the ipad. Nor do I know how to use get photos from urls to put on the desktop of the ipad to transfer them here. And not yet willing to learn how.

I contrast this to the kinds of “adjustments” people in northern Japan had to make. Astonishing, that I would even speak of my “troubles” in the same breath as theirs.

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0 Responses to LimboLand

  1. John says:

    I find myself frequently comparing my complaints or discomforts with those being suffered by the people in Japan. That moment of reflection is all it takes to make me stop. What I am struck by is the sense of community and stories of compassion that are being reported on daily – sometimes I think we need a massive natural disaster of this magnitude or greater (Katrina wasn’t big enough or it became a talking point for the religious fanatics in our society who said that Katrina was God’s punishment for a life of debauchy in New Orleans) to force us to change. When we can’t blame someone (9/11) for the disaster what is left? If we don’t stop this brutal treatment of people and the planet we will be the authors of our own destruction.

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