I had seen Cynthia Crawford before, at the 2009 and 2010 UFO Congresses, though I hadn’t known her name. Nor had I cared to find out! In fact, I made sure to give her booth in the vendor room a wide berth. First of all, because she was selling — can you imagine? — ET sculptures! What? How ridiculous! Of course, I barely glanced at them. Also, because she herself looked, well, “weird.” Her eyes strangely inviting, even compelling . . .
In my daily rounds, I skirted wide around that corner of the room.
This year, her table occupied a different spot, no longer in a corner and harder to avoid. Not that I cared. My mental set had been so tightly screwed in that I could march brazenly by those damn statues and hardly notice them.
But then something changed. I wish I could remember what changed. Somehow, on the third day I found myself talking with the strange woman, about her sculptures. And, I realized, each of them had a unique and compelling signature. It was as if, finally, when the force field was breached, I found myself fully inside. Now the only question was, which sculpture would I get?
We must have talked, with me asking about each sculpture in turn, and she talking fondly and clearly about one after another, for at least 20 minutes, maybe more. She said that each of her sculptures carries the frequency of the being whose form it inhabits. That this is her mission in life, to make these sculptures for people so that they may connect more fully with their ET neighbors. That anyone who buys one of them (and they are not expensive), seems to find her or himself having “experiences.”
Then, she told me that she had found out that she, herself, is a “hybrid” — part ET, part human — the result of a military experiment. “Which didn’t make me happy,” she added.
I ended up getting the one she calls “The Blue Lady.”
Blue Lady arrived in her UPS box a day after I got home. I let her sit there, being frightened, basically, of what she might portend for my life.
A part of me found my fright ridiculous. What am I afraid of? It’s just a statue!
Another part of me remembered that eerie day in Egypt when I had come across a statue of Sekhmet in a tiny temple at the far end of Karnak — and was nearly bowled over by its numinous power.
So, despite my rationalist, western upbringing, I was no stranger to what others may call “idol worship.”
I wondered when I would open the box, and what would happen if and when I did! I noticed that whenever I thought of conscious contact with ETs, that my body would tense, my heart flutter. Like I was afraid. Afraid of what? I have no recall of any “abduction” experiences, and in fact, my intuition, faithful when it comes to self-referential questions, tells me that this has not been my experience. Instead, I was simply undergoing the very natural anxiety that comes with contemplating a rupture in one’s secure, well-trod framework — a mishmash of routine, rock-hard assumptions about life and what is real, habitual ways of thinking and perceiving, typical attitudes, desires, ways of working with desire, etc. — and, basically, like the Fool in the tarot deck, agreeing to step blindly off a cliff.
Into what? I had no idea.
So I just let myself sit with the fear. Notice it. Let it be there, inside me. Acknowledge and honor my body’s needs to slow down, slow waaaay down . . . so that it might catch up with the mind’s insatiable curiosity, and beyond that, with the strong, lifelong aspirations of spirit.
Finally, I decided that I would hold a New Moon ceremony on March 4, as a sort of pre-initiation for the Mayan Calendar initiation into Unity Consciousness on March 9th. I would invite the box to join me, sit across from me in ceremony (where my late husband used to sit in ceremony). I would leave the box there unopened, unless and until I felt moved to open it. And even then, I might not be ready to remove it from the box. Whatever I felt comfortable with would be fine.
In the ceremony I asked that I be allowed to go as slowly as I needed to in the matter of conscious contact. I didn’t want to freak out. I didn’t want shock of any kind, if it could be avoided. But I did want contact. I knew that. Or I wouldn’t have ordered the Blue Lady.
Well of course, within ten minutes of starting my ceremony, I opened the box, removed the Blue Lady, and set her on her little stand across from me. And it wasn’t even hard. And we’ve been inseparable ever since.
That very night, conscious contact began, with a dream. Or maybe not a dream. I don’t know. All I know is that I, as an awareness, a detached observer, was present in a room full of some kind of equipment. A being was standing in the room, working on something very intently. He (it seemed to be a he) didn’t appear to notice me. His head has smaller features that I’m used to, especially the ears. And very little hair. Darkish skin. (Not an ET type that I recognize from drawings in books.) All of a sudden, I became aware that I was there, and that this being was not “human” in any sense that is familiar to me. With that realization inside the dream, I woke up.
And then, five days later, on March 9, my initiation into the Mayan Unity Wave, 3-D dissolving into swirling color and light . . .
Conscious contact. That’s what I’m looking for. With other “beings,” yes, although they may not be “other.” Contact with my multidimensional “self” as it dissolves into the unified field of Being and Becoming.
Colin was right. My prayers were answered. No shock. Rather, a melting. Communion with/in the sweet, liquid, loving presence of the One.